Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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