It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
