what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
