that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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