Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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