so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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