I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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