I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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