New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
