uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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