I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
