I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
