Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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