I think scott just propositioned me for sex
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
