Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Drunk is not a location!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
