Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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