you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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