im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
