K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
