I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
no, he came in my armpit
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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