I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
