North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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