this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
