You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
