Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
