i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
