talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize