How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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