just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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