TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
