tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
