Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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