The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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