thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize