maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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