Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
