and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
