I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
