he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
im holly from the hills drunk
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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