some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Pappa wants mamma naked
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
