I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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