There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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