There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
