He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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