what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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