She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
