I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
