In America we eat man semen.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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