my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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