I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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