we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
