yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
