mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
