currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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