I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my liver is dry heaving
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
