At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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