OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
