grandma shit on top of the toilet
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
